from the desk of the Supreme Chancellor
You’re starved for fun. I can see it in your weary little eyes. You’re groveling in a poorly lit corner, mascara running down your cheeks, over someone’s latest sad attempt at pretending to be Edgar Allen Poe. Dark and ultra-meaningful art has you in an anaconda chokehold, and by gosh, it’s not going to let go until it crushes your ribs, gapes its jaw, and swallows you like a Costco hotdog.
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You’ve had sad and pretentious stories rammed down your throat for years now and there’s no end in sight. You have no idea what any of it means. You’re left asking one question over and over again: was that really Casey Affleck under the bedsheet the whole time?
Dark stories, dark art, it’s all important, but seriously, maybe there’s room for something else? Being sad is cool. But this is GOOEY, and GOOEY has no time for that. GOOEY’s the strange, barbaric voice screaming through the night. It’s the calloused hand that slaps you across the mouth when you complain too much. It’s the cherry lips that kiss you passionately so that you’ll stop crying because you look kind of ugly when you cry. GOOEY’s made for eutherian mammals and by golly, that’s you.
So, it’s time to dry your bitch tears, pull up your jeggings, and read this issue of GOOEY. You’ll find stories to electrify your soul, interviews to break your heart, and art to melt your brain.
GOOEY is your mother, and you are its fetus. Sink into GOOEY’s placental love. Float in its amniotic fluids. Hook into its umbilical cord and let it pump self-absorbed and barbaric fun into your belly button. Come on. Don’t be a nerd. Just do it. You’ll finally be one of the cool kids.
With warm and rageful love,
GOOEY
The Overlords
GOOEY is published annually by a growing body of authors, editors and visionaries. The editorial team for the autumn 2024 issue, fondly referred to as “The Overlords” are Jack Corfield, Whitley Dunn, Taylor Fleming, Lee Groen, Francesca Pacchiano, and Sophia Wasylinko.
Jack Corfield
Jack is a non-binary meat tube from the Orion Arm. Their work in GOOEY will be lost to the heat death of the universe, whence it shall be reborn annew in the 9th dimension. Beware their contributions to Portal Magazine, the soundwaves they broadcast at The Navigator and CHLY 101.7 FM. and many future pockets of reality. Few shall survive their contributions as an editor of A Mouth to Feed and Breakfast by the Vending Machine which lie within these dripping, digital pages.
Whitley Dunn
Whitley Dunn is an actor and writer. She has been involved with GOOEY since the start, channelling her mom-friend energy into her role as Editorial Director to make sure no one dies, nothing blows up, and things get posted on time.
Outside of GOOEY, Whit can be found filming audition tapes, acting on stage, editing her horror movie script, and finally writing her little heart out on her current novel.
If she’s not being productive, she’s probably playing The Sims 4 and crying over the newest update breaking all her mods. But no matter what task Whit does, an angry furball named Bumblebee will be seen demanding love and attention from her.
Lee Groen
Lee Groen is an author, poet, editor, and superorganism consisting of several various kinds of flora and fauna, including but not limited to: microscopic brain shrimp, a modest colony of Sitka trees, half-a-dozen domesticated foxes, an infestation of sewer rats, the eternal timeless serpent, two or three iced coffees, with a chest full of wildflowers, and arteries flowing with fresh wild salmon. In his free time, Lee enjoys reading and watching sports.
Taylor Fleming
Taylor Fleming is a Creative Writing and Journalism student at VIU who wakes every morning to find herself in a vaguely cherry-scented puddle of her dreams from the night before. A mistake at the optometrist's office when she was two and a half landed her with a pair of rose-tinted glasses which horribly distort and misinform the gaze with which she looks upon the world. Instead of dissolving into a deep, dread-filled existence, she now spends all nine days of the week trying to translate her perceptions into story and poetry. She received the Kevin Roberts Poetry Award in 2024 and the Meadowlarks Award for Fiction in 2025. Her work has appeared in Portal Magazine and in the 2024 anthology, Winter’s Melody.
Francesca Pacchiano
Fran took over the role of Managing Editor when it became apparent that someone needed to turn this group project into a real magazine. While the world of editorial and publishing is where she dreams of working, the reality is a lot of long, web design filled, nights and an unending amount of emails. When she's not working on GOOEY, Fran is a journalist for Take 5 Newsmagazine, and a recent graduate of VIU. Small town journalism has taken over her writing focus of late, but she hopes to return to the murk of fiction soon.
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Sophia Wasylinko
Sophia Wasylinko has edited and written for past issues of GOOEY. (You might recognize her as the author of Issue 2’s story “Wet Lips and Demon Kiss.”) A Creative Writing and Journalism graduate, she uses the power of social media to stay up-to-date with Vancouver Island shenanigans. While no longer content writing, Sophia now wears a library assistant hat as well as her paging toque. She will eventually publish her first novel.